Category Archives: Humor

Ice Picks and Shotguns

by DAVID BROWN | | December 5, 2014

You can buy shotguns and ammo at Walmart, but an ice pick … whoa … neighbor, now that’s just too dangerous.
IcepickWhen I was younger, you could stop into virtually any store and buy an ice pick. Not so true today.  So, the other day, Amy and I went looking for an ice pick, but  after visiting a hand full of stores, we were still empty handed so we went to our old standby, Walmart, and we were surprised to find nary a one, so I stopped the lady stocking product in the housewares section and asked her point blank why Walmart doesn’t have icepicks.  She told me that they no longer carried them because they were too dangerous. I protested that they sold knives which are dangerous but not ice picks? She said that the knives on display had bolts in them and were therefore unusable; the others were sealed in a box. I started to explain that they could do the same with ice picks but I concluded I was wasting my time. As I started my way out of Housewares to the exit, I passed by the Walmart hunting section replete with shotguns and ammo and wondered about the real reason there were no ice picks.

I promptly went home and was pleasantly relieved when I typed ‘Amazon ice pick’ and immediately found a wide selection of this endangered tool.  So in no time, I ordered Amy the ice pick of her dreams on Amazon. Problem solved.

Canadian’s Version of David Letterman’s Top 10


Canadian’s Version of David Letterman’s Top 10

Number 10 Only in America could politicians talk about the greed of the rich at a $35,000.00 per plate Obama campaign fund-raising event.

Number 9 Only in America …could people claim that the government still discriminates against black Americans when they have a black President, a black Attorney General and roughly 20% of the federal workforce is black while only 14% of the population is black 40+% of all federal entitlements goes to black Americans – 3X the rate that go to whites, 5X the rate that go to Hispanics!

Number 8 Only in America…could they have had the two people most responsible for our tax code, Timothy Geithner (the head of the Treasury Department) and Charles Rangel (who once ran the Ways and Means Committee), BOTH turn out to be tax cheats who are in favor of higher taxes.

Number 7 Only in America…can they have terrorists kill people in the name of Allah and have the media primarily react by fretting that Muslims might be harmed by the backlash.

Number 6 Only in America…would they make people who want to legally become American citizens wait for years in their home countries and pay tens of thousands of dollars for the privilege, while they discuss letting anyone who sneaks into the country illegally just ‘magically’ become American citizens (probably should be number one).

Number 5 Only in America….could the people who believe in balancing the budget and sticking by the country’s Constitution be thought of as EXTREMIST’S.

Number 4 Only in America…could you need to present a driver’s license to cash a check or buy alcohol, but not to vote.

Number 3 Only in America…could people demand the government investigate whether oil companies are gouging the public because the price of gas went up when the return on equity invested in a major U.S. Oil company(Marathon Oil) is less than half of a company making tennis shoes (Nike).

Number 2 Only in America… could you collect more tax dollars from the people than any nation in recorded history, still spend a Trillion dollars more than it has per year – for total spending of $7-Million PER MINUTE, and complain that it doesn’t have nearly enough money.

And Number 1 Only in America…could the rich people- who pay 86% of all income taxes – be accused of not paying their “fair share” by people who don’t pay any income taxes at all.